I’ve been planning a rant about the baby-industrial complex, which I have concluded to be EVEN MORE EVIL than the marriage-industrial complex. However, it seems a new book’s
been released that may even include something like research on the whole topic, not just my general rantiness.
Amazon sez:
Pamela Paul (Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families), mother of two, probes the business of parenting, exposing the high price of raising kids in our consumer-driven nation. Paul points out that it costs upwards of a million dollars to raise a child in the U.S. these days, especially if one buys into the theory that baby must have everything on the market. Following the money, Paul dissects the booming baby business, including smart toys that don’t really make kids smarter, themed baby showers and parenting coaches and consultants. The text is a tireless rundown of parents’ seemingly bottomless pocketbooks when it comes to bringing up baby, and according to Paul this is not just an upscale, cosmopolitan phenomenon—throughout the country parents are reaching deep into their pockets to fuel this spiraling craze. Though Paul incorporates the pithy quotes of a number of experts, such as psychologist David Elkind’s observation, Computers are part of our environment, but so are microwaves and we don’t put them in cribs, readers may find themselves wishing for more commentary and less litany. But Paul isn’t preachy, although she does reveal that what babies really need is holding, singing, dancing, conversation and outdoor play.
Which isn’t far off from what I say, which is that MY parents raised me without a $400 stroller, let alone an $800 stroller, and I seem to be a functioning member of society JUST FINE. (For those who might debate that, I will observe that I am employed, lack a criminal record, and have an excellent FICO score, regardless of anything else you might choose to observe about me. I did finally get a hair cut last week, too.)
My thing about the marriage industry is that they at once have the attempt to guilt you that ‘This is the best day of your life and will only happen once so it has to be perfect!’ issue running against the prevailing divorce rate. And also the fact that if it is, in fact, the best day of your life, everything else is downhill and wouldn’t that just suck? (Hm, maybe that explains the last 6 months of my life.)
With pregnancy and raising a child, the guilt stakes are far higher. The divorce rate is one thing, but do you want to risk your child not getting into a good college?! If you mess up a wedding, it’s just a wedding and hey, you’ll be divorced in 5 years anyway. If you mess up a child, SOCIETY WILL PAY! And the kid, of course.
The very existence of cashmere onsies appalls me. Let’s see, what do babies do? They do a very special triathlon: Eat, sleep, poop. Transitions tend to involve fussiness and crying. Dry-clean only? WHAT?
Y’all can start reporting me to child welfare when my child wears cheap cotton onesies that machine wash warm, tumble dry low. I’m ok with that.