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Submissions: Snake Oil

People persist in believing submissions are necessary for the top 4 search engines.

Oh, Spam, How I Love Thee

Attached to an image touting the standard array of designer pharmeceuticals, I give you today’s assortment of weird text snippets, suitable for reading at a poetry slam or even your next SEO pitch:

I think highly focused ads are the answer.
The benefits of local search are clear: it allows you to find customers in your area [...]

Things that are true:

1. I went a full 10 days without omnipresent wireless Internet.
2. I went a full 8 days without checking any of my e-mail.
3. I went 10 days without checking my work e-mail. (ha ha ha!)
4. I haven’t read any of my RSS feeds in 10 days. So if anything has happened in the world, I [...]